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I enjoyed this rundown of Jewish conspiracy theories by Joshua Neuman, co-author with David Deutsch of The Big Book of Jewish Conspiracies. The ludicrous nature of the "worldwide Jewish plot to take over the world" is not a new observation, of course. The first time I ran across someone poking fun at the idea, it was Dave Berg, famous for the "Lighter Side" feature in the old Mad Magazine. What he said, in his book Roger Kaputnik and God, was something like this: "They say there's a Jewish conspiracy to take over the world. What I want to know is, so how come I'm not getting a piece of the action?"

My own version of the idea goes like this: They say the Jews control the world media. When you consider how much the world seems to hate Israel and the Jews, you have to say that if the Jews control the world media, we're doing a lousy job.


Maybe the most relevant thing about the whole mishegas, though, is what it reveals about the Jewish community.

We've been called a "stiff-necked people" ever since Biblical times, by no less an authority than God Himself, and anyone who's had dealings with Jews knows how true that is. A worldwide Jewish conspiracy? When's the last time you met a Jewish family with the singleness of purpose to sustain a conspiracy? Or even to plan a party?

As Abbie Hoffman said of the Chicago Eight, when informed that they would be charged with conspiracy: "Conspiracy? Hell, we couldn't agree on lunch!"



Benshlomo says, Not to worry, folks; the Jews are too busy arguing to bother you much.