Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Open Letter to the White House - Congress in 1987

Dear Mr. President:

So this is "the worst Congress in 20 years," is it? Let's see, by that reckoning, there was a worse Congress in 1987, and the president that year was...Ronald Reagan. What do you know about that?

As near as I can tell, you're upset with this Congress because they have insisted on considering more legislation to support the health of the nation's children, despite the fact that the last time they passed such legislation, you vetoed it and they couldn't override you. They won't just roll over and play dead. What do you know about that?

What's more, they've decided to try to take care of our children's health when you'd rather they authorize more billions for your useless, lost war. Oh, those beasts.

Oh, wait, it's not the war – you said you're upset with Congress because they refuse to provide our troops with proper ammunition and armor. Now, that's just terrible. Before this lousy Democratic Congress took office, you would never have allowed such a thing, of course, because if you had, our brave men and women in Iraq would have been reduced to digging through the trash for makeshift armor and paying through the nose for fuel and...oh, wait, never mind...

Well, maybe it's not that, either. You said that this Congress's investigations into corruption and malfeasance in the run-up to this war, and treasonous disclosures of intelligence agent's identities, and the management of this war, is a waste of time. Well, that makes sense – it's all in the past now anyway, isn't it? I mean, what do those time-wasters in Congress think this is, peacetime? There's a war on, for God's sake. It's not like the people have a right to know how their government got us into this mess...oh, wait a second, they do.

Well, it's not like anyone voted for a Congress that would end this stupid war...oh, hang on, yes they did.

Well, then, it's not like the American system of government allows the people to second-guess the Decider's decisions...oops, yes it does.

Well, then, I guess this is the worst Congress in 20 years because since 1987, no Congress has prioritized public health over warfare, and all Congresses have given the President a free hand in conducting foreign and domestic policy, and no Congress has ever tried to undercut the President's authority in any way. Right?

Right?

Go home, George.

Friday, October 12, 2007

How to Perfect the World

With all due respect to Christianity, if this is the face of perfection, I'll pass, thank you very much.

And with that, I will take the advice of a growing number of pundits, commentators and bloggers. On this journal, from here on in, Ann Coulter is a rumor. She doesn't exist.

On the count of three, everyone ignore her. One, two, three.

Benshlomo says, Jesus Christ.